Rebecca Maykoon Lee: thoughts

March 13, 2019

Day 5 & 6 In Jakarta (2019)

It's the last night in Jakarta and also the last night of Java Jazz. It was drizzling heavily yet it did not dampened both our spirits to catch our favourite acts of the night, James Vickery and JMSN in our Alfa Mart raincoats. I don't know if it's a thing or what but we were the only ones in raincoat while the rest of the population at the festival were walking around without an umbrella/raincoat as though they were waterproof. Mind you, they still picnic-ed on mats, nom-ming their food away under the rain.

I remember dreading the passing of time as I didn't want the night to end, same goes to this super chilling vacation (never have I felt so stress-free during a trip..waking up late, going out late). I'm gonna miss you Jakarta!

Java Jazz Festival, Jakarta, Pentax Spotmatic, Fujicolor C200

James Vickery, Java Jazz Festival, Jakarta, Pentax Spotmatic, Fujicolor C200

JMSN, Java Jazz Festival, Jakarta, Pentax Spotmatic, Fujicolor C200

I just want to say that I'm so proud of myself for having some okay shots of James Vickery and JMSN on film. I've never done film photography (without flash) at night and what more, a concert. I was super anxious on the outcome but thank goodness all of it came out well (already thankful that it's not seriously underexposed). Anyhow, still good improvement from the previous time!

After bidding farewell to JiExpo that served us well for the past three nights of the amazing Java Jazz Festival, came the day of saying sayonara to Jakarta. But before that, Harris was so nice to bring us out for some really, really delicious Indonesian lunch (missing the satay already) and drove us to the airport too. What will we do without our Indonesian friends?! Mon, Ryan, Harris, all of you are angels!

Jakarta, Pentax Spotmatic, Fujicolor C200

Jakarta never was a city that ranked at the top of my bucket list. It wasn't a city that I was curious to explore because even for friends around me, I would say 0% of them would opt for Jakarta as a travel destination over Bali or Yogyakarta.

With that little exposure around my circle, Jakarta was pushed further back under the list when my Indonesian friends did not endorse this city fairly enough. It was always about the terrible traffic and air pollution.

But I loved the Chinatown with its delicious food and ancient temples. I find Kota Tua very charming with Cafe Batavia transporting me back to the colonial era. I enjoyed the Java Jazz Festival with all of these super chilled and relaxed Indonesians and jazz lovers around the world that enjoyed the music under the rain together. Though it was a crazy leg-day for the both of us but MONAS told us a lot about the history of Indonesia. I miss the cheap and super good seafood at Pulau Indah Kapuk and I regretted not checking out on how we could go on an island-hopping trip to the Thousand Islands.

One thing this trip taught me was that there is no place on this planet that has nothing for you to see, eat, experience, and enjoy. It really depends on your willingness to do the research and ability to adapt to a different kind of travelling style. I am the typical traveller that has too many places to visit with many things to do/try but only have a limited time frame. So I mostly have a packed itinerary for my trips (not the suffocating type of course), but this time in Jakarta I tried the chilling style, and it's good. Felt like I was staying in Jakarta instead of visiting. Plus, instead of sightseeing most of the trip, half of it was just spent with friends at food places, and that's okay.

So I guess, Jakarta is a little bit like Singapore for me now. It's a city where I visit to meet my friends who are working there or permanently based there. Not sure when I will be back (hopefully soon) but for sure I will miss Jakarta!

xx
R.

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Pentax Spotmatic : Fujicolor C200
Canon SXL : Fujicolor C200

April 08, 2018

SHINee Bling Bling Jonghyun

I clearly remember on that May night, the 15-year-old me was getting my dose of Kpop news online where I was reading about TVXQ, Super Junior, and Girls Generation (yes, was an SM-stan back in those days, and still is despite everything). I wasn't as news savvy as the rest of my friends who knew when the next album of their favourite group was coming out, had news of upcoming groups from different companies and so on. But I was also at the point where I wanted to fit in so I was reading almost every new article of the day from a few websites every day after school just to learn more about the Korean music industry.

So when I saw this article, "SHINee Noona Neomu Yeoppeo MV Is Out", I clicked into it Back in those days the music video was placed before the article so I pressed play. I didn't know who were they or which company they were from or whatever concept they were doing. All I knew was, when the music came up, the moment I saw chiseled-jaw-side-swept-fringe-Jonghyun, I knew I found the boy group that resonates to me in terms of musicality, looks, and concept.

I remember re-watching the music video a few more times after that because I LOVE the song, which I still do, up till now and forever I know. Only then did I read the article and found out that they were SM artistes and it was like the joyous thing that ever happened for me because I was very protective of the SM artistes at that time and knowing that SHINee was a part of these other awesome groups that I like, I was ecstatic.

My favourite from SHINee was Jonghyun. He was the first that caught my eye straight away, right at 0:12 in the music video. So looks came first and then he was first to sing and my soul flew right out the window. I remember at that era I was also starting to listen to more unique sounds and had an interest in jazz and especially R&B. Jonghyun's voice caught me instantly and I fell more deeply into the love hole. As the song was also my preferable genre, everything just came together perfectly and I knew instantly I will be stanning SHINee for some time.

As time passes, all of us got to see the personalities of all the members of SHINee and with amazing songs year by year, and not to mention the concepts that I really appreciate for every album, I felt more and more closer to SHINee, especially Jonghyun. However, some time later after that I was detached from the Kpop world because I found it hard to keep up with the pace. I was still keeping an eye on SHINee but never like before where I made sure I watch every single video of them whether it was a fancam or a recorded TV show.

Somehow I lost contact with everything Kpop. When Jonghyun released his first compilation album, I didn't even listen to it and didn't got to know about it until a month later. It wasn't my priority but the boys were always somewhere there in my head, at some corner I know that. I let them linger there but I didn't update myself about their news and latest works.

By the way, up to 2017, I hadn't the chance to go to any of SHINee's concert and it really has been bugging me for awhile because I really love them and to me the best way to show my support is to attend their concerts! So in May 2017, I saw posts about SHINee's world tour online and decided to check it out and see if I could make it to any of the venues. At that point of time it was towards the end of the tour and as mentioned before, I was totally outdated on this news.

Lucky enough, a last minute addition of Bangkok changed everything. I was literally going crazy. Am I dreaming? I can afford Bangkok. I can go to SHINee's concert, FREAKING FINALLY!!!

I was excited because my lifelong dream will finally come true! I mean the ideal would be seeing the boys together at their Korean concert but at that time any chance was good enough.

So off I was to Bangkok and I had to say it was like going out with your crush for the first time, all giddy inside. Though it rained cats and dogs, found shelter in the gents, and lined up in there too, it didn't kill the spirit in me. When the show started and when they came up on stage, it was back to the times at Golden Disk Award. No sun, no rain, no one, nothing, can stop me. I am now with SHINee, having the time of my life with my soulgirl Vivienne and dancing to the music I love with all these fantastic Shawols who share the same love as I do to the boys.

It's okay I lost touch with the boys for awhile previously. It's okay because it didn't affect me when I was there at the Thunder Dome stadium. I felt like an old flame that was revived and burning hell-crazy. I was looking at Jonghyun the whole time. So handsome. So flawless. So talented. My first love.

Did I cry? Yes I did when Jonghyun and Onew sang "Please Don't Go". The silhouette and his voice just brought me back to when I was 15 and reminded me how much I love him from the very beginning. Plus the song was sang with so much feeling from these two amazing vocalists. Can never forget them singing this song live.

After the concert, I told myself to put in more effort in checking out their Instagrams and learning about the stuff I missed out in that gap of time. Everything was looking good till the news of Jonghyun leaving us flooded the world. At first I was like okay...but at day 3 and day 4 and after a week, I still asked myself, it was not real right..how if it's not real?

I found solace in my soulgirl, thank goodness I have her to keep me sane.

On the night of his death, I had a dream that I was brought to this field and was looking at the dark sky which was filled with bright lit moons. Yes, not one moon but many moons. It was so beautiful and though I was alone, I didn't felt lonely or scared.

The next morning I did my usual Twitter-stalking on the latest news of his passing and found out that Jjong had a special fondness for the moon and even had a song he wrote, 'Moon'. Note that I did not know any of these prior to his death because there was a period of time where I did not catch up with their news and interviews. I told my soulgirl and she also mentioned that he wrote Selene 6.23 where 'selene' is 'moon' in Ancient Greek.

Then I wondered. I had no idea about the relation of the moon with Jjong so it cannot be in my unconscious mind because this information was never received. But I dreamt of the moons on the night of his death. Is he telling me to write this here to tell everyone that he is okay? Because I don't know what other reasons if this dream is not related to Jonghyun. Maybe its a coincidence but I will still choose to see it as him telling us he is alright.

It was a difficult end of the year for me as I constantly think of him and why he has left us. The next concern was the rest of the SHINee members and the future of SHINee. I am very thankful to the boys for sticking together through it all. I still love them nevertheless.

When Poet | Artist came out two days before my birthday in 2018, we were once again blessed with Jonghyun's talents for the last time. I thought I couldn't bear to watch the music video and will end up crying the moment it goes on but funny enough, I was smiling throughout the music video and actually felt happy instead of the opposite. I think that's why Jonghyun is such a great artiste. Despite what happen, he still made me and many others smile with his music.

I love SHINee as a whole don't get me wrong but I'm dedicating this post to Jonghyun because it's his birthday today and I was going to write him something after he left us but I just couldn't bring myself to do it because I was so broken inside. Also, I knew if I wrote it at that period of time, I wouldn't be able to complete it properly anyway. So I chose his birthday today as the day I will post something about him and SHINee with happiness.

To Jonghyun, I will always love you and I miss you. SHINee will never be the same without you but I know you will always be there with the boys and guide them along the way. Happy birthday, I love you, I miss you.

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P/S: I want to thank my lovely friend Kris who was such a sweetheart and helped me and Vivienne place flowers at the SM building for Jonghyun. It means so much to us. Thank you <3 p="">

January 01, 2018

2018 Resolutions

First thing's first, I have never set any annual resolutions before this because I didn't see the point in needing to do so and because I always thought, another year would be the same as any other year. But this year I'm turning 25 and I thought, every year wasn't the same and that as a person that lacked motivation most of the time, I think it's time to start cultivating this yearly habit of having resolutions to see how well I did at the end of the year. I think the first one would be to write shorter sentences in my blog so that my reader will not be out of breath at the end of it.

1. Be Active & Healthy (And Have A Nice Bod Hopefully, But It Doesn't Look Like It)

Agfa Vista 200, Pentax Spotmatic

So I'm planning to have a much more balanced lifestyle this year because I haven't been exercising regularly like I used to since high school and I have not been checking on my diet too which is why I've gotten quite an amount of flabs here and there. As I cannot work out efficiently in the gym (too boring) and I felt that yoga was giving me the flexibility but not the body and challenge, I will need to plan out a more efficient routine and maybe join other types of activity that could make me lose those extra weight. Of course, diet is extremely important and I will need to watch on that as well because my recent eating habits have been getting me into trouble where I get chest pains, weight gains, and what not.

2. Improve On Consistency

Agfa Vista 200, Pentax Spotmatic

I've been struggling with consistency for a very long time. I just cannot be extremely consistent like I want to be because it will feel very routine and monotonous which are also very bad excuses to not be consistent. As of now, my life on social media is a few months late which is quite normal for a lot of people but mine is quite the throwback. So for consistency, I would like to see it in my social media postings, especially my blog updates, and most importantly hobbies that I took up in 2017-journaling and film photography. I wouldn't say I give up easily on certain things but more of move on pretty quick if that something doesn't pique my interest anymore. So yes, more consistency in everything I do please!

3. Find Time AKA Time Management

Kodak Colorplus 200, Pentax Spotmatic

Everyone who knows me know that I have 101 hobbies and 101 interests that I want to do and participate in but cannot find the time to do so. Thankfully, I've narrowed down the things I love to do but still, I always find that limited time is the reason I can't pursue them often! Blogging is one of them, colouring is another one, and then there is also the tendency to rekindle my interest for my keyboard, I also dread I don't take a lot of photos on my film cameras, some times I forget to update my journals, and the list goes on and on. I personally think time management is so so so important and cannot understand why I am still not acting upon it if I know of its importance. Life is so ironic. I am so ironic.

4. Find More Money

Agfa Vista 200, Pentax Spotmatic

I think most millennial these days don't only have one job or most probably have some investments here and there to survive in this cruel world. Same goes to me. I don't really have much time to spare honestly after taking away my sports time and my hobby time in a week but I feel that a side income in a form of a short term project is still workable.Thank goodness my family is quite understanding about me working throughout the weekends sometimes because they know its not easy being us in this generation. I have friends whose parents are still talking about when I was 23 I already got married and have kids, and I feel sorry they need to go through that. Of course, I need to manage my time first before taking up other work so that it will be better than getting all stressed up at the end. (See how I linked all my resolutions together hohoho)

5. Save More Money

Ilford 400, Canon AE-1

Okay this one, is serious matter because I calculated, the maximum I can save a month multiply the months leading to my possible marriage month in the future, is a lot of money BUT, WEDDINGS DON'T COST RM50,000 ANYMORE. So what I will still need to do is to try my best to save up as much as I can. Not only for the wedding but for my future because after marriage you might want to have kids, then the kids need education, I might want to pursue archaeology (?), and of course visit a real safari in Kenya.

6. Travel Out Of Malaysia Once

Fujifilm Superia 200, Pentax Spotmatic

I'm not asking for much when it comes to travelling I mean, I went to 4 different places last year, Bangkok (last minute plan to attend SHINee concert), Boracay (bought the tickets a year ago), Singapore and Phuket (for work while on It's The Ship). So to ask for a getaway out of Malaysia once this year, I think it's okay. Another reason why I didn't want to aim for two places was simply because my salary is not made to travel that frequently so I could say last year really burnt a hole in my bank account.

Extra 7. Learn A Jazz Piece

Fujifilm Superia 200, Pentax Spotmatic

This is quite impossible because I only learn keyboard for 6 months when I was in high school and that was it. My keyboard at home does not have all the keys meaning there might be notes that I cannot possibly play unless I rearrange that particular part. I tried watching a couple of Youtube videos but I was a little impatient so it didn't work out too well. But I am keen to give it a try again but first I need to arrange my time and complete all the blog drafts I have which are all written halfway.

I will revisit this post again on the 31st of December 2018 and see if I did make any improvements! Till then, wish me the best!